Monday, November 13, 2006

The Side Effects of Swinging

Last night at a party I observed for the first time that I have started checking out couples, where I used to check out individuals.



If this had been a "sex positive" event it wouldn't be anything new, but it was just a friend's birthday party. We are still in the closet with most of our friends, so it's still our delicious little secret.

So there was this beautiful, petite Italian girl wearing a 40's style dress with kind of a matching hair style. She looked like she could be out of the movies Swing Kids or La Vita è Bella. I thought she was very attractive and I could tell Mr. Fine did too.



Her boyfriend was also petite, dark haired, very fair skinned and he was wearing black leather pants. The party invite had mentioned, in jest, that the theme was to wear leather chaps and crotchless panties and he was the only one who had actually come through. Later in the evening, when everyone was warm and fuzzy with red wine, he did a little dance and shook his rump. That got my attention pretty quickly!

I find there is both an appeal of going to a fetish night–where sexuality is very open, accepted and on display–and also being at a regular party–where sexuality is more hidden, taboo, hungrily hiding just beneath the surface–and yet you can catch a glimpse of it if you are looking. The hosts made a joke of it on the invite, but I love thinking that they were secretly wishing that all the guests would actually come dressed in chaps and crotchless panties.

It would be such a fantasy to hook up with a couple that we met through regular means as opposed to on a swingers site or fetish night. There is a calculated, almost business-like character to meeting up with couples from a web site. There isn't always chemistry and when you get together for pre-planned evenings, it is sometimes hard for everyone to be in just the right mood.

But what if there was a couple you met when you least expected, the chemistry was there and the mood was just right for everyone. That would be so sexy!



I did feel like this cute little gal was checking me out too–one often sees what they want to see, don't they!–and I wondered how would I take it to the next level. It would really be putting yourself out there at risk for rejection and there is a fear of being scorned for being so scandalous.

But I remember the first time I had the opportunity for a foursome: it was with a previous partner and his good friend and girlfriend proposed we go home for a night of spontaneous fun. I wasn't shocked and appalled, but rather flattered and definitely interested in the idea.

I would like to think that even if it didn't happen, the other couple wasn't interested or ready, we wouldn't offend anyone by proposing the idea. And if it did happen the rewards could be oh so delicious.

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