Sunday, July 26, 2009

Swinging Etiquette Rule #1

We were having a lovely time with a couple last night. Popped their swinger cherries actually, which is a bit of a novelty.

I just had to write though to let any interested parties know about something you should never, ever, EVER do when engaging in group sex...

While one of the ladies was giving head to the other guy, the guy said to his partner, "Actually she is better than you."

The Horror! Why would one say such a thing???

And then, as if that wasn't enough, he also said "but I don't blame you for it".
(Ah yes, that makes it all better, doesn't it?)

Advice to anyone considering, starting out, or engaging in the world of wife swapping, never make comparisons! Doesn't that seem obvious? You would think it was, but obviously it's not.

People get jealous. People are sensitive. Especially when sharing their most intimate moments with others. Don't ever think that your relationship is secure enough to tell your partner that their sexual skills don't compare. Not only is it potentially hurtful to your partner, it can make for an uncomfortable situation for everyone.

If you want to keep everyone happy and turned on, don't voice your comparisons. Keep your thoughts to yourself and enjoy your good fortune!

Good night xo

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Love and Lust

Ahhh, the blog calls me back again.

For those of you who missed us, thanks for the comments and all is well in tendernfine land. Honestly, the sexual adventures and even desires wax and wane, but thank goodness that when lust takes a break that love takes the reins!

Love? "Phhtooey!", says You... "We want lust!"

Well, in order for this blog--read: our adventures in swinging and sensuality--to survive it must be about both lust and love. Up until now I have felt a certain guilt for the waning of lust, but in the long run the Tendernfines will be better off if we can acknowledge those times... perhaps even remedy them!

Swinging at its best is really about love too, isn't it? It is a delicate dance whose balance and grace depends on a high level of trust, understanding and flexibility... all of which are a part of a lasting love affair.

I've talked about how swinging has both brought us closer and also at times caused a rift between us. Swinging can be a fatal venture for a relationship that is already tipsy turvy--yes, we've witnessed a few break-ups along the way because of it--but if you want to come out the other side still together, you will definitely need solid communication and commitment. Then the real sexiness can shine!

Anyway, we are still in a waning period, and I'm currently just sitting here in my armchair philosophizing about it all, but the good news is that we are still here and what goes down must come up!

Stay tuned for more sexy pics, stories and good times!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A Taste of the Apple

We finally visited our friendly, neighbourhood swing club and thoroughly enjoyed it! We had a little trouble finding it, but finally got there and walked in with anticipation and some butterflies.

We were greeted by a well dressed doorman who showed us into the office where we registered as first time members. The "receptionist" was extremely cute, dressed to impress and also very friendly. I immediately felt comfortable here.

Along with a bunch of other sexy new members, we were taken on a tour of the club; a private home that was very well decorated, and had the warm and comfortable atmosphere that I was hoping for. I was pleasantly surprised when we went upstairs to see the private rooms and there were not plastic sheets! Etiquette is very important at this club, and part of that is to change the sheets after you, ahem, use them.

Our tour guide of the club was very funny and made us all comfortable along the way. It was a great start to the night.

Upstairs there were private rooms, where you could shut the door and play out more private fantasies, and there was one very large and luscious room where the door always stayed open. It was said by our guide to become quite a pile up later into the evenings.

After the tour was over, we went downstairs to greet our friends who invited us. They both looked sexy and playful. We then took our wine over to the bar and the very sexy bar maid poured us a drink with a gleam in her eye.

Near the bar, some whipped cream found it's way onto the nape of my neck and Mr. Fine was forced to lick it off. Oh my, oh my, I was probably blushing. It's really happening.

I think this night was a particularly newbie night, so the staff were doing their best to move things along. A playful sexy dice game was started and some brave ladies were jumping right in. While we were talking to our friends, I was picked out as the next victim. The dice thrower came over and declared he had to kiss my breast, so on went the whipped cream and then quickly off again.

I then rolled the die and got a ? and a Blow. I picked out a cute fellow and decided to play safe with a light blow and kiss on the ear. I tend to be an onlooker from a safe distance, so such involvement was pushing my limits a little, but probably for the best.

The night continued with some dancing, pole dancing performances, and more wine. Then our friends who've attended before suggested we venture upstairs. It was very quiet upstairs and seemed like we were the first. Our friends tried to tempt us to the big, open door room but we were feeling a little timid, so we went to a smaller private room and shut the door.

At this point I really noticed how comfortable I was feeling. Often when we meet couples two on two there is this slightly awkward transition to playtime, but with them things seemed to flow nicely.

I lay on the bed and he climbed up on top of me and began kissing me from above. He had a soft kiss, and a very active tongue, which makes me want to call him hummingbird now. Active in a good way though.

I pressed my ass towards his hips and could feel his cock growing hard. We grinded a moment or two and then he flipped over onto his back and I pounced on top. I had some very sexy and expensive lingerie on so was feeling good.

I'm always very eager to put my lips around my partners cock as soon as possible. Perhaps too eager? (Some of you might disagree)

I do this partly because I really enjoy it and it makes me hot, horny and naturally lubed up but I also do it because I feel comfortable knowing I'm pretty damn good at it (at least Mr. Fine thinks so)! Many a swinging night has ended with me bring him to a climax with the other couple watching. Next time I'd like to see if I could pull it off in the big room, with everyone watching!

My play partner for the evening seemed to enjoy it, but he really wanted to go down on me as well. He eagerly flipped me over and began the hummingbird, human vibrator technique on me which I really enjoyed. I also really liked it when his lovely girlfriend was down there performing her fine work and he began licking and sucking my breast with that same technique. It was a very erotic moment for me and I tried to imagine a larger number of people with their tongues all over me. Something to save for the future perhaps.

I eventually brought him to climax deep in my throat, with my pussy in his face. He seemed to enjoy it and chuckled a little bit after.

After a bit more tousling about Mr. Fine gave me that "come suck me" face so I went to work on him while our friends, of course, watched. Mr. Fine is so vocal and sexy when he comes. I really love it ♥ They called me a greedy little girl and then we tidied up and went out to see what all the commotion was in the hall.

Things had definitely heated up since we went in our private room and the big room was in full swing (pun intended, I guess)

I've now officially been to an orgy! There were about 10 people on the big bed all consumed with each other, with others scattered around the room watching intently or fooling around. It was very wonderful and primal. There was very little inhibition in that room, except for mine of course, that prevented me from diving in and pouncing on the cute guy whose ear I blew on earlier.

We watched for a while, pretending not to be lookey-loos and then decided that we had seen enough for the night, kissed our friends good-bye and headed home for sweet dreams.

Since that night I've learned that I'm going to be overwhelmed with fantasies that I never realized I had. The vivid imagery of that night is imprinted in my brain, and I'll be sure to record some my new fantasies here that I one day hope to realize.

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Swing club tonight!

I just paid for Mr. Fine and my new membership at our local swing club and for tonight's event. I'm really excited as I've been wanting to check it out for at least two years, and finally I can!

This will be my second time to a swing club where full sex is permitted. The first time was interesting, and a good experience, although we didn't have sex with another couple. That definitely isn't a requirement for me to have a good time, and in fact I'm very apprehensive about having sex with some other couple we've only just met.

It takes time for chemistry to build up, and for me it's not just an instantaneous thing based on physical appearances. I like to know a little about a couple and also want to know them enough to trust them when they say they've recently been tested and don't have cooties.

Anyway, practicalities aside, the club was quite well done. Being a warehouse it was a bit spacious and had a cold feeling to it, but there were about 10 different rooms with different themes.

There was a dance floor where we initially entered, then a long hallway that had various couples rooms, caged rooms, a medical fetish room, and a large dungeon coming off of it.

I really liked the caged rooms and the dungeon, as there was an inner room inside the dungeon that was basically a bed with jail bar walls (do you detect a theme here? I do have a thing for cages and being a slave).

Interestingly when we first walked in the club, we had our most wild site of the night. There was a man tied up to the dancing pole in the middle of the dance floor. He looked a bit freaky, as he was completely saran wrapped from head to hips, with some breathing holes I presume. A woman was fondling and tormenting him, but he clearly enjoyed it as his large cock was erect and twitching upwards every time she placed her pointy shoes on his balls or flogged his nipples.

Mr. Fine and I love to see stuff like this, because in some ways it's quite funny and in others, it's just kind of a novelty to see what others deem arousing. We do get a kick out of knowing that we are seeing things that not many people get to see.

So we had drinks around the dance floor and checked out the other clientele. It was a bit older demographic than us... 40-somethings mainly, but there were a few attractive younger couples. Things really didn't get going around the dance floor and there weren't that many people dancing, so did rounds through the other rooms again.

In the couples room, there were a bunch of beanbag cushions, a small bed and some curtains and netting hanging. There were a few couples in there kissing and such, so we went in.

We started kissing and touching each other, which was fun, but Mr.Fine was facing the door and couldn't stop laughing. There were these roving single men who kept peeping in the door and one of them had the classic bank robber stocking over his head so he looked ridiculous. It really wasn't that much of an arousing atmosphere for me, more just novel. Lots of giggles.

Then another cute couple came in and sat on the little bed and were making out. He had very long hair and looked quite elvish and she was darker skinned, with beautiful eyes and a very voluptuous bod.

Mr. Fine cleverly steered me to the edge of the bed and sat me down. He lowered himself to my bare pussy under my dress and started to kiss and lick me. By this time, there was a lot of other action going on in the room. It's kind of strange when it's strangers though, random people you'll never see again but who you saw in some of the most intimate ways.

As Mr. Fine was pleasuring me, I turned to meet eyes with the other couple behind us. We were all inching closer to each other and eventually started touching. I can't remember exactly what happened, but we did talk to them briefly. We learned they were from Sweden, and like us, had had other experiences with other couples, but this was their first time at a club too.

We ended up kissing them for a few minutes, touching and fondling, and I got to put my lips around the largest breasts that I'll probably ever come across. I think the atmosphere of the place just wasn't right for us all, and we weren't sure how far to go on this little bed surrounded by people, so we said a friendly ciao and went into the dungeon to have another look.

There was a little caged room off to the side and Mr. Fine and I went in and he hopped me up on the ledge and spread my legs. I liked the feeling that anyone could walk by and see him penetrating me, and I liked grasping onto the bars of the cage, playing out the slave fantasy in my mind.

And we definitely did attract some attention, as while we were fucking Mr. Fine looked to his left and there was a man inches away beating off and watching us. Maybe we sound like prissies, but we just didn't want some random jizz spraying on us, so Mr. Find kind of shooed the man away.

It was fun fucking in there, and we kind of got lost in each other again, only to realize that a funny little ogre man who could have been my grandpa's younger brother was watching us quite closely. Again Mr. Fine got spooked and said "There's nothing to see here!"

That really got me laughing as the man must have been wondering why the hell we came to a club to have sex if we didn't want to be watched! Lol!

After old Gimli took off we continued and Mr. Fine climaxed inside of me. By that time, the evening seemed to have reached the peak of activity that it was going to, so we decided we'd seen enough and went back to our hotel for some more fun.

So... tonight we are going to house, not a warehouse, that has a variety of cool looking amenities, a bar, dancefloor, social areas, a hot tub, and some nice looking private rooms. It definitely seems more warm and inviting than our warehouse experience!

A couple we've met once off of AFF invited us to go tonight. They've also invited another couple who we met for a dinner date a few months ago, but didn't totally click with. It will be interesting to see what happens, and though I'm still not sure about the public sex thing, I'm trying to keep an open mind.

Miss Tender

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

My Willing Behind

Mr. Fine and I enjoy anal sex very infrequently, but I've come to realize that it should become more frequent due to our recent and most enjoyable session.

Right now it's really only like once every 3-6 months, but once a month seems desirable. I don't want it to be too frequent and risk becoming not as special or exciting, because it's fun to have something saved for special occasions. Right now when we have anal sex there is an extra special intimacy between us during and after that I enjoy.

This was such a lovely occasion. My arse was clean as a whistle from a very thorough enema session, which I find to be an essential preparation. Knowing there won't be even a hint of dirt makes me feel much more at ease, even though he says he doesn't care and even that it would in some way turn him on.

As an aside, if you've come looking for really great tips on how to have anal sex, please visit My Favorite Life's excellent advice called Anal Sex 101.

He did such a nice job of working me up to it. After a little kissing and cuddling I rolled onto my stomach. I love being in that position for any type of sex.

He slowly kissed his way down and started licking my clit and stimulating my ass from behind, starting gently and then more firmly and hungrily, and then back again. I love the unpredictable variation!

I was very relaxed and eager for ass play as he slowly teased me with the lubed up butt plug and gently inserted it. And the additional clit stimulation really got me going, as well.

I was dripping wet from the lube and, leaving the butt plug in me, he fucked me for a brief time, which felt really good having double the sensations happening.

For some reason my body just really likes the anal play. As I said before there is something that feels deeper and more intimate about anal. And the moment something is in my ass, my clit becomes like a firecracker just wanting to go off! So sensitive that it only takes a few minutes before I climax, along with clit stimulation of course.

Mr.Fine was extra sweet this time and I found that while he fucked my ass, if I looked back and saw just a hint of his hip movements it drove me wild. It really completed the picture of him inside me and he looked so sexy.

I gently rubbed my clit and we climaxed together, with me only seconds before him. It was a powerful orgasm and I was more vocal than usual. I had such a warm fuzzy glow after and we had a great cuddle session because we felt extra close I think... yum.

This time definitely wet my appetite for future anal endeavors sooner than later.


Monday, October 22, 2007

My Swinging Story

So we've been on hiatus since I last wrote. Very busy in other parts of our life and re-evaluating what we were doing in the lifestyle. We definitely learned a lot about our boundaries from our previous experiences and feel ready to dabble again.

We met up for drinks with a couple last night and the fellow asked me what motivated me to want to try swinging. I think I found it difficult to answer and I thought it would be an appropriate post to explore here as we embark on it again.

I think I've always felt like a sexual person. Quite early on I engaged my Barbie dolls in various scenes, many of my drawings had a sexual tone and I thought about sex a lot.

Once I had navigated my way through the awkward years of discovery, I came to really enjoy sex with another person and put a lot of effort into learning and improving my techniques.

My current partner is one of the most sexual and kinky people I've been with, and one of our first times having sex he placed a silk scarf over my eyes just to kind of establish early on that he wasn't a vanilla kind of guy. I really enjoyed it and we've explored more ever since.

Within the first year he opened up to me about already having dabbled in the lifestyle with a previous girlfriend. Though I had never experienced anything in the past, I had had one opportunity come up where something might have happened with another couple my previous boyfriend and I were friends with.

Since then I had thought about group sex with interest and just became really open to the idea, so when Mr.Fine told me about his experiences, I think I knew that someday we would do these kind of things too.

One day about a year into our relationship I decided I wanted to see who else was out there exploring the taboo side of life. I created a free profile on one of the more popular sites and once my partner found out, he was so excited and said "We are absolutely going to pay for a membership and see what's going on!"

So, I guess my motivation to sign up was first a curiousity to see who else was out there doing it, but I also fantasized about being with women whom I found very attractive and sensual and mysterious, and I had a desire to just feel more sensual with other people in a group setting.

I would have to say that because my partner had done it in the past, I wanted to indulge him as well. I knew that sexuality was an important part of life for him and wanted to make sure we kept things varied and spicy.

Since we've started, I have a lot of fond memories and we've met such a wide variety of people that we would never encounter in our daily lives otherwise.

We've had some great four-some sex, have an interest in taking four to more, and always leave the night feeling closer and knowing more about each other.


Friday, March 09, 2007

The Green Eyed Monster

I haven't felt like writing for the past three months due to some tough times in swinger land.

What is the number one risk that we face in this lifestyle (aside from cooties of course)?

Yep, it sucks... and I caught a serious case of it that temporarily rocked the foundations.

The Cause?
Definitely a blurring of boundaries. I got all worked up into believing that I needed to just pretend everything was OK and take one for the team, but it totally backfired and set us more than a few steps back.

With boundaries—what one is comfortable with—you can't always know what they are until they've been crossed. I have ideals of how I want to be, but in this case my ideals—and my rational self—were seriously clashing with my gut feelings. And those gut feelings wrestled my rationale self to the ground, spat on it, and kicked it in the face.

Jealousy is such a primal emotion.
I imagine it as one of the older emotions in the development of humans, in fact way before we could be considered humans. I've seen cats get jealous.

For mammals in general, I suspect jealousy serves as a function to keep a mating pair together until nature sees fit. It could be argued that jealousy still serves that function for humans, but it sure gets in the way of "fun"! But anyway, I digress.

Why did I get jealous?
As I said above, my boundaries were crossed. We talked and made up. And then they were crossed again.

But I blame myself. I wasn't assertive enough, and did not spell out exactly what things I wanted to stop. I say 'exactly' because it is important for anyone reading to understand that you can say something, feel that the other person understands, and yet if you haven't totally spelled it out, there may still be room for interpretation.

As well, I was telling only Mr. Fine, and not communicating with our friends. This wasn't fair, as they had no idea how serious things were and had no opportunity to alter their behaviour.

What we came up with
We all finally talked about, cleared the air, and decided that we want to maintain a same room only policy (ha, that makes it sound like such a business arrangement!)

We agreed it is important to 'us' to keep it as a group activity, a pile of bodies, and a very interactive event. Full swap is fine, as long as us couples stay in somewhat close proximity, ideally at an arms reach.

And the thing that bothered me most about this fiasco—the actions that led to my jealousy—were not about 'sex'. On the sliding scale between sex and love, I saw things that I interpreted as being closer to the 'love' end of the scale.

BTW, I'm not making accusations that that is what happened at all! I am saying that that is what I saw and interpreted, and hence my fight or flight reaction.

Things get confusing for me when affection is displayed outside the realm of playtime. It takes it from fantasy into reality, and I start to feel threatened. There are pros and cons to meeting great people that you want to spend time as friends with, as well as have sex with. However ultimately, I think we are more drawn to the pros, and are all mature enough to be able to continue and enjoy it.

Anyway, I just had to get this off my chest, so that I could return to blog-land. I'm sorry I had to bring reality into my fantasy blog, but hey, it's my blog!












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